Christmas is Just the Beginning

Finding Hope Amid an Unfinished Story

At church this past week, the sermon really resonated with me. The day after Christmas. Christmas morning was a time of celebration--a time where shepherds rejoiced because the Savior had been born! But, what happened after that glorious morning? Quite simply, the world returned to its normal routine. The shepherds continued to watch their sheep. Pain and brokenness continued to fill the world. There was still poverty, sickness, and death. Evil and wickedness continued. Peace on Earth? Good will to men?.....Seriously? Quite frankly, it didn't seem like much had changed.

Yes, Christ came into this world as a little baby. He came to save the world. His entrance into this world is considered the first advent. God Himself became flesh to rescue and redeem this broken, sinful world. Miraculous. And yet, pain and brokenness endure without reprieve. Did God abandon His rescue mission? Did He simply forget? Sending a small baby to our sinful world is not how I would have imagined the King of King, our Savior coming down to rescue us.

Even in this day and age, I think we can all agree, there is not peace on earth. There is indescribable heartbreak, agonizing pain, abundant loneliness. There is war, hunger, hate, abuse, poverty, broken homes, broken relationships, and the list is endless.

If the baby in the manger didn't miraculously heal our broken world, where then does our hope lie? We must remember that the story hasn't ended yet. Our hope lies in the end of the story. The promise we have in Christ is that there will be peace on earth when Christ returns--the second advent. The promise that He will come again and restore all that is broken, that he will wipe away tears, death, mourning, and pain.

This is the hope we have through Christ. His death and resurrection provide us with grace, hope, and peace to live amidst the pain and brokenness as we await the return of our Savior.

Revelation 21: 3-5:
"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God. 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making all things new!"

Immanuel: Comfort in the Promise of His Presence

"The Virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, 

and they will call him Immanuel 

(which means "God with us").

Matthew 1:23

Christmas can be a season of joy or a season of pain--a glorious celebration with family or friends or a heart-wrenching reminder of sorrow and grief. Good feelings of warmth, comfort and connection, or painful feelings of loneliness, mourning, and sadness. The truth is there is much brokenness and pain in this world--and that brokenness and pain often does not cease during the holiday season. 

However, in the midst of joy, in the midst of pain, in the midst of comfort, in the midst of loneliness, in the midst of family and friends, in the midst of mourning and sadness, Immanuel: our God is with us. 

This does not negate the reality of our circumstances. Instead it provides hope and grace in the midst of our experiences. Our God is with us--He chose to send His beloved Son to be with us in the messiness of this broken world. Even when He appears silent, even when we can't make sense of His goodness, even when the pain continues without relief, Our God is with us.

He came to save us. Immanuel, came for me and you. Christ entered this broken world to save us from our sin and brokenness. He came in quietly and unassuming, full of grace, truth and unfailing love. He sees our helplessness, our sorrow, our injustices, and He answered with His Presence. He answered not in spite of our pain, but in the midst of our brokenness. Come what may this Christmas season--our God is with us. May you find comfort in the promise of His Presence. 

"So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father's one and only Son" John 1:14

My story: God's gift of reconciliation

I had the opportunity to share a bit of my story at church on Sunday. As I was reflecting on my journey, I remembered how very painful the road has been. And yet, I also look back and see Immanuel ("God is with us"). I wanted to share it in hopes that it can encourage others who may be in the middle of a painful journey. Friends, no matter what you are going through--there is hope and grace! God IS with you and loves you even if that is unfathomable right now!
             
A few years ago I was in the middle of a very dark season. My journey had been filled with excruciating disappointment, agonizing depression, immobilizing anxiety and overwhelming hopelessness. I felt defeated, alone, and angry.  Even though I grew up in the church, I felt increasingly distant from God; and my faith in a good God withered away. If God truly cared for me, He would take away my pain. I grew to blame myself for God’s apparent silence—surely if I was good enough, God would have rescued me.

Crushed by the unbearable weight I was experiencing, when I was alone I found myself drawn to thoughts of self-destructive behaviors, including thoughts of self-harm and even thoughts of suicide. I turned to unhealthy coping such as greatly restricting my calorie intake and experienced strong temptations to purge what I ate in order to regain a sense of control. There are many different ways people struggle to cope with excruciating emotional pain—including drinking, addictions, pornography, over-eating, TV, or unhealthy relationships. From my own experience, I have realized that such things are often desperate attempts to find relief from unbearable pain. Despite my best attempts to numb the pain I was experiencing, relief only lasted momentarily—and afterwards I was left with increasing feelings of shame—I was humiliated and mortified at who I had become.

Up until this point, my identity had been built upon being a perfect daughter for God, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was shocking to me—I went from upholding this image of a model Christian to feeling powerless over my destructive thoughts, my depression, my hopelessness. I couldn’t fathom a God of reconciliation—a God who actually would want to be in a relationship with ME. You see, God was Someone whom I desperately wanted to please, but no matter how hard I tried--I never felt like I was good enough. How could He love ME—in all my doubts, failures, shame, brokenness, disbelief—how could such a holy and perfect God love ME? However, in all of it, God kept pursuing me—He didn’t want me to turn to these destructive things because He cared for me and He wanted to be the One to meet my needs.

Over the course of several years, God sent countless people into my life to sustain me through messages of hope and grace.  As I took huge risks in sharing my brokenness and shame with members of this church, I found so many safe people who accepted me and loved me despite my doubts and brokenness. God was so tenderly and gently opening my heart to accept His merciful gift of reconciliation. The truth is that there was never a time in my journey that God stopped loving me. I can now look back and see that God was with me each and every step of the way.

I love this description by Max Lucado:

“Our Savior kneels down and gazes upon the darkest acts of our lives. But rather than recoil in horror, He reaches out in kindness and  says, “I can clean that if you want”, and from the basin of His grace, he scoops a palm full of mercy and washes our sin”. 

Even those times when I felt utterly disgusting and hopeless, He was right beside of me and extended grace and hope through the ministry of the body of Christ. In the midst of my pain, in the midst of my doubts, in the midst of my brokenness, my God was with me. Even more, His presence was never rooted in condemnation and contempt, but instead was rooted in such deep care and compassion for His beloved child who was so deeply hurting. It has been a process of learning to experience God as a loving Father and friend, but in that process, He has so tenderly and patiently waited for me to turn back to Him. As I have chosen to allow myself to experience His unending patience, unconditional love, and generous grace, I have time and time again experienced His gift of reconciliation in such a profound, meaningful, and life-changing way.

Below is a song by Ginny Owens that really sustained me through some very difficult moments. Friends, God is with you and there is hope!